Today is production day. That means I have to write stuff for the paper, put it together, and finally, send it off to the printers. It's a pseudo-Friday.
But today is different. After going to bed early last night, I woke up super groggy this morning and couldn't focus. So I went to 7-Eleven and after finding they no longer carry Rasinettes - and who doesn't carry Raisenettes? Is this not America? - I decided on a bag of Reese's Pieces and a Mountain Dew to drink.
I haven't had a Mountain Dew in years. Turns out, I forgot it was liquid crack. I'm so far up the wall that I'm better than Spider-Man.
And as an added bonus, I've got more of a sugar rush than a little kid who just discovered his older brother's Pixie Stick stash.
I guess the best part is that I didn't sniff the Mountain Dew. but when I crash, I'm going to be angry. Super angry.
Now you know.
Let his be a lesson to you, do not drink Mountain Dew. Just smoke crack instead.
Also, if your underwear spontaneously combusts, you should take it off becuase burn marks on a pelvic bone are way less attractive then stretch marks.
On a final note, whoever drank the last beer in the refrigerator should replace it.
Thank you, and have a good day.
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